Here’s the thing.
This year I’ve offered up to the dark gods of discomfort (and man they’re dark).
Now, I’ve been progressing pretty well, had a whole bunch of discomfort, and I realised some way in that I was actually focus on the discomfort, as opposed to the rewards that are being and sown and reaped from the hardship.

I was thinking “OK, I’m in discomfort ugh… need to do more discomfort, ugh..”
But I’d forgotten the big WHY.
Like I say to people I work with, staying connected to the PURPOSE you’re doing something, will aid you in getting you through the crappy time.
*Caveat* This doesn’t mean it’ll be any easier, but it means your propensity to deal with challenge is greater.

That is all.

Credo!

So, this year, begrudgingly I’ve decided is all about discomfort.

By this I mean the kind of discomfort that results in personal growth.

Last year, generally speaking I ticked over and ‘grew’ organically in both personal and professional ways. While this is of course, natural, it was pretty hands off.

As a result I did well, but not brilliantly.

So I’ve mapped out a few areas – all of which I *won’t* be sharing with you….

Here’s why.

So, I’m going to break all blogging ‘rules’ and NOT ask you what your goals are.

I don’t want to know, because I want you to *get* them, instead of getting a few more hits.

And something I can tell you about my secretive goals is that I *WILL* be using Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy to attain them.

That is all.

Here’s what I wrote on Facebook last night. For myself as much as (if not more than) others.

I really hope that you get what you deserve, nothing more nothing less.
If you deserve ‘happyness’, Find it.
If you deserve anguish, relax, it’ll almost certainly find you.
This is where it gets complicated…
If you think you deserve nothing/misery/bad luck and/or that’s what you’ve gotten uptil now, congratulations – you’re probably getting what you planned for.
If you’re tired of the same old shit and are prepared to BE and DO different (albeit with help) then you know what you must do.
If you don’t know what or how to do that, contact me privately. I promise nothing but to try my best.

In short, continue to bring to mind (or at least do it fairly frequently) what you’re going to do with your remaining heartbeats –  because you better believe they are finite.

And this symbol below means Zombie in Chinese.

See the connection.

Credo.

Pretend

Pretend I’m not just talking about fighting.

Let’s say, just pretend I’m talking about Life. or business or whatever you want really. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t.

So for the second time in my life, and this year, I was lucky enough to train with a real Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Master, and

one of the very few wearers of a Red and Black belt (think Black Belt to the tenth power).

So this is what he said in the lesson…

Even when you’re in a bad position, say, on your back, be doing stuff that is east to maintain for you but that will put the opponent off his flow – breaking his posture, allowing him to not be able to exploit the more dominant position he’s holding.

Best not to be in that position however. As with many things, a strong and balanced starting position, one that is well grounded and not top heavy is going to work well. That as well as a good degree of control and clear mindedness too.

He also told us that at any time, when going for a move, whatever it is, have about 3-4 contingency moves, potential directions you can move in, depending on the resistance. He said to see those things in your mind, have them mentally at hand so you can access and apply them when needed.

I thought that was interesting.

That is all.

In BJJ class this week, my teacher – Professor Walder explained how it is important to set up what you’re doing.

Getting in a position when facing resistance that gives you options, that is, if he pulls you in you can resist, if he pushes you away you can resist. Sometimes being non committal gives you the room you need to think and make a better informed decision.

Don’t rush, regardless of what others think do or say, make your play when it is right not when you’r urged to.

If time is running out, you take the best action you can when you can.
Drive forward slowly and surely and when you feel resistance (and more often you will) check to see if the application of further pressure will get a better result.

If you find it won’t, attack in a different direction. Move at an angle that isn;t expected, an angle that is taking you the long way round to your goal, yet still to your goal none the less.

Knowing when to be patient and when not to be, that’s some discernment right there.

And the secret is to practice.

This will take one minute to read.

Most men enjoy playing the odd video game, and yeah, often these have violent content in varying degrees (Duke Nukem being my own guilty pleasure).

But now I’ve found this, it gives food for thought. Excessive (10 hours or more) playing brings on a lack of activity in the left inferior frontal lobe (the grey noodle between your ears).

I mean really, is that surprising? Again the latest findings in Neurology back up common sense.

Now, It probably won’t stop the odd ‘secret 30 minute alien killfest’ in me –  but it is food for thought.

It’d seem *is* something to what our significant other says (usually mums, wives or girlfriends) when they say

“Stop playing that mindless game!”

Here’s the article, what do you make of it?

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/11/111130095251.htm

CNT –  Concreteness training – a ‘new’ treatment for depression.

Apparently.

In short it’s getting people who suffer from depression to practice being specific in their thoughts. And to do that regularly.

There may be more it it, but that’s all I gleaned from the research article here.

For me, this is nothing new. I have been doing this forever when I treat those considering themselves as a depressive or experiencing depression type symptoms in my Hypnotherapy sessions here in leafy Woodford Green. If you haven’t been to my lovely village nested between Essex and London borders, do so!

The idea of being a CNT user is a good one, as long as the client is prepared to commit to the work over a period of time.

In my experience, utilising unconscious processes are utterly useful 90% of the time. Getting these resources on board, so as to not leave the embedding of a new practice or habit to just willpower, yeah, highly useful.

So while CNT is great, I’m all about hacking stuff to see if it can be leveraged to make it better, faster, stronger.

I guess it’s a guy thing.

It doesn’t work all the time, but when it doesn’t there’s always something useful to learn from it.

So just as the NHS would appear to be doing at the moment, get your CNT groove on if you’re feeling depressed.

And if you fancy turbo charging it, you might want to blend it with hypnosis.

Just sayin’!

Just a quickie today.

We’re all different. Among all the people I’ve worked this week with a Young man who is a Champion Thai Boxer (won his title in Thailand),  and a  man in his late 50′s who’s never fought beforestick out the most.

I was seeing both of them for Fighter’s Mind stuff –  the Fighter-specific Mental Performance Coaching I specialise in.

What interested me was the response of these two fighters during one particular component of the Fighter’s Mind programme (it’s more like a smorgasbord actually, but anyway) and that’s a technique I use to link powerful states and feelings to a switch that a fighter can turn on at a given time in an appropriate context, to access said states.

One of the men went into overdrive, fair dinkum turbo charged, the other there was little that was not much that was noticeable as an indicator of state.

Can you guess which was which?

Interesting experience the other day.

In the same session of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I both got a minor promotion (a stripe on my blue belt) and had a very interesting conscious ‘disassociation’ during rolling (sparring).

I’d been grinded into the mat and run ragged several times by one of the Black Belts in class, and thought I was in for an easy ride with a young man who’se a 4 stripe white belt (so he’ll be a blue belt next). I’m bigger, stronger and been training longer than him so went into the rolling a little too relaxed probably.

Anyway this guy was putting up a good fight, despite his size -  BJJ is an art that is specifically designed to work well against stronger and heavier opponents.

Well I was tired, taking it too easy, and before I knew it, this chap has a strong Cross collar choke on me. it went something like this…

It came out of no where and I felt the pressure around my neck as decreasing amounts of oxygenated blood struggled its way to my grey matter.

As I felt the black lights descend, my vision face and mental processes dull, I had this… moment.

Amid the mental sluggishness I remember thinking something like “”what I need to do now is something amazing that I <consciously> don’t know how to, but my body does”.

And

Then

I did it.

I still don’t know what I did, but I know it started with a Scorpion movement. See below.

That’s what it felt like anyway.

So what you’re thinking perhaps. and yes, so what?

Well, what was interesting for me was I was disassociated from the whole thing, like a mental observer.

As opposed to the usual ‘flow state’ that athletes are in at times of peak performance (I’m certainly not saying I was performing at my peak!), I wasn’t ‘in the moment’ I was ‘outside’ of the moment.

If you can get out of your own way, and you know you can, how would you congratulate yourself as you did something that you thought you didn’t know how to do but DID?

So, as my Turkish pal puts it:

“Think about that!”

I’m lucky.

Lucky lucky lucky.

I get to work with a whole bunch of people. Not just people who come to have Hypnosis in my Hypnotherapy Practice over here in Leafy Woodford Green. Not just people who need help to change, get rid of a habit or get over something.

No, I also work with Fighters – helping them with Mental Performance Coaching using Fighter’s Mind but also work with Property Investors who are part of the Venus Property Mentoring Programmes.

The lady who owns Venus is my Joint Venture partner Gill Alton.

Now I don’t go into ventures with people normally, unless I’m extremely impressed by them, and that takes an awful lot. Gill is one such person. She’s someone who, in the property circles has a star that is in the ascendant. (I’ve been waiting years to write that phrase).

During getting to know Gill, and more importantly her successful attitudes and behaviours well, it got me a-thinkin’!

You see, it turns out that Being good at Fighting/Martial Arts has a few things in common with being a great ‘Propertist’ – yes, I just made that up.

So here’s just three such things that you will need to be good at either Fighting or Property….

• Commitment. Think you can walk into a place and have instant ‘push-button’ brilliance? – Not impossible, as there will always be prodigies, but yeah, it’s quite unlikely. You need to be prepared to drag yourself out of your chair, and focus on becoming better at what you do. Day in day out. Week in – week out. Month in – month out. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t rest -  you MUST -  because it’s only resting properly that will allow you to maintain this activity level and the consistent progression and maintenance of what you do know.

•  Self Belief. This can build over time, but it’s good practice to start off by thinking and knowing you can do it and be brilliant at it -  whatever ‘it’ is. It might not always be true, but it sure as hell most likely foster better results AND make the journey to getting there much more re-assuring. I was going to write ‘comfortable’ but no, it isn’t always going to be comfortable. in fact sometimes it’s going to be downright painful. Step up and deal with it -  because that’s what successful people do.

• Resilience. If you’re not the kind of person who can bounce back to the path that you were on before you got distracted/challenged/waylaid, then this is a skill you must learn.  Yes it can be learnt, and it’s a hard one to do so. Whether it’s returning to focus on your desired result after a loss or some other kind of failure, you’ve got to get your ass back in the saddle pronto. And the more you feel like giving up, the quicker you need to refocus back on the work. Learn how to take feedback, and act on it. Change that thing so it won’t happen again -  (as best you realistically can) and then there’s one less thing that is likely to go wrong in the future. Remember, us Humes survived because of our ability to adapt. That process isn’t finished, so let’s embrace it.

This list isn’t by any stretch exhaustive. But there’s enough to work with that by applying and attaining these things, are going to stack the hell out of your deck. And, as you may know I’m all about stacking the deck.

Also, seek out great exemplars (e.g. Gill) that embody these , or other skills that you want. Ask them outright. They’ll be so flattered they’ll nearly always give you some nugget of wisdom. So buy that person a coffee.
Buying people a coffee is always going to be well received.

So go get yourself a pay per view event and watch some UFC (Mixed Martial Arts). If you take everything that happens and treat it as a metaphor for business, what do you notice?

Let me know….